Fall schedule

Here's the remainder of our fall schedule in the Pac-Man Divison. All games are on Tuesdays at Fort Snelling field #4.

Aug. 24: Muskies 14, Mighty Milfoil 10
Aug. 31: 7 p.m. vs. Grass Kickers (7-9)
Sept. 7: no game
Sept. 14: 9 p.m. vs. Fire Escape (0-1)
Sept. 21: 9 p.m. vs. Blue Balls (6-11)
Sept. 28: 7 p.m. vs. Ctrl/Alt/Del (2-6)
Oct. 5: playoffs, tba
Oct. 12: playoffs, tba
Oct. 19: rain date
Oct. 26: rain date

As you can see, we seem to have been placed in a division with teams that have a recent history of losing a lot. We have a lifetime record of 3-4-1. But the good news is, we're now on a three-game winning streak, we just had our highest-scoring game ever, and we've obviously improved. So will we be contenders this fall? Our next game might go a long way toward finding out.

Welcome to Muskie-blog

What do you think of the blog? Since I write extensive team emails during the kickball season, as you know, I thought it would be interesting to just put it on the web in the handy blog format.

This site would be a good place for photos, video, discussion, whatever. I'd like to post profiles of every player along with a photo. But I'm no photographer, so bring your digital camera to the game if you want to help get us decent team photos, which we still lack.

If you're one of our opponents and you've stumbled onto this site, please don't take our trash talk too seriously. If you do, we might have to password-protect the site, and that would be excessive.

Game 2 preview

Our next game is at 7 p.m. on Tuesday 8/31 at Fort Snelling field #4. Please arrive by 6:45 and bring your $21 if you haven't paid yet. My credit card bill with $360 in kickball charges is due.

Also, we need to provide two umpires for the 8 p.m. game, so think about if you want to get your ump obligations over with for the season.

There is no game next Tuesday because of Labor Day week.

Our next opponent is the veteran Grass Kickers. They've apparently been around for years, but I can't offer much insight into them because they've been pretty Jeckyl & Hyde. In the spring of 2003, they went 7-2 and became the "Minnesota League Champions." Then, in the fall of 2003, they went 0-7. And in the spring of 2004, they apparently didn't play.

So, the question is: Which Grass Kickers will show up on Tuesday?

a) the state champions;
b) the winless wonders; or
c) the team that never showed up at all?

I don't know, but if we maintain our offensive focus from last week and stay smart on defense, it should be a good game.

Flying Muskellunge 14, Mighty Milfoil 10

A new rivalry is born.

If you spent any time at Lake Calhoun (our "home field") in the summer of 2003, you were struck by the infestation of ugly, bizarre Eurasian milfoil all over the lake's surface. The invasive species dominated the lake, depriving other lake plants of enough light to grow, and choking off the oxygen supply for fish in Calhoun -- which really does include a sizable muskellunge population.

In the late summer of 2004, the Muskies exacted our revenge.

There's little to say about our instantaneous offensive explosion in the opening innings of Tuesday's season opener versus the Mighty Milfoil, except to say that we executed brilliantly. We followed the Kickball Commandments. We kicked smartly and hustled down the baselines. We took extra bases and made the most of almost every opportunity.

We scored 2 runs in the first inning, 4 in the second, one in the fifth and 5 in the sixth. We led, at various points, by scores of 2-0, 6-0, 7-1, 7-3, 12-4 and 14-4. Several of us had some incredible baserunning adventures -- Geoff and rookies Scott and Patrik come to mind. Geoff even laid out the catcher in a play at the plate. (Now, was that necessary?)

By my count, we had 27 hits (for a .563 average), and didn't make any baserunning blunders resulting in outs.

Defensively, we kept the Milfoil down long enough. Whenever the Eurasians got a threat going (like first and second with no outs), they repeatedly did the same thing: kicked the ball to the hole between pitcher and third base, setting up easy Geoff-to-Sarah forceouts.

We got them out at third more than any other way; in fact, I believe Sarah made all three putouts in one inning. The Milfoil were employing the common kickball strategy of bunting to left for almost everything. It can be effective, but it only goes so far -- and it may be why that experienced team is now 4-13.

Eventually, the strategy started getting to us. I wish that we could have ended the game at 14-4 to prove that we have turned the corner defensively, but then we gave up 6 runs in the final frame -- a sequence that gave me nightmarish visions of dashing a 10-run lead. Pitcher Geoff was getting understandably tired from all the bunts, while we took lots of crazy fielding chances just because we could. I should have brought in Scotty to relieve Geoff, and we'll have to be more careful next week.

But it barely tarnished what was by far our strongest offensive game yet. I can't wait to get out there again.

Kickball Ten Commandments

A reading from the email of Simon Peter to the Muskies:

Dearest Muskovites, thanks to the recent fusion of extreme sports, the Olympics and the Old Testament, I have received the following Ten Commandments of Kickball via divine inspiration. Let my people score!

These are the basic laws from the kickball gods that we need to follow in order to win. Print this out, tack it to the wall by your computer, and recite it daily. Yes this will be on the test, and yes it will count toward our final record.

KICKBALL TEN COMMANDMENTS

I. Thou shalt stretch and/or warm up.

II. Thou shalt always run hard to first base, even if you think it is a foul or an easy out.

III. Honour thy first-base coach and thy third-base coach.

IV. Thou shalt always look for an opportunity to advance an extra base.

V. Thou shalt not fail to "tag up" on a caught ball with zero or one out before advancing to the next base.

VI. Thou shalt know what is and what isn't a forceout.

VII. Thou shalt try to make the easiest out first, unless the game is on the line.

VIII. If you field a ball in the outfield, for the love of G-d, get it back to the infield quickly if there are baserunners. (Teammates should get into relay positions.)

IX. Thou shalt not throw at a runner unless 2 of these 3 criteria are met: a) it is a sure thing; b) it is a last resort; and/or c) there are no other baserunners. (Teammates should back up your throw.)

X. Thou shalt not foul off the tee.


Now, if I return from Mount Sinai and find you worshipping false kickball strategies, I will smash these tablets over the pitching rubber.

P.S. Secondary commandments (not cardinal rules but still important):
11) Thou shalt not have strange captains before me; 12) Thou shalt not take the umpire's name in vain; 13) Thou shalt not commit unadulterated errors; 14) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's fly ball, i.e. "call it in the air;" 15) Remember the Game day and keep it holy; 16) Thou shalt not steal bases; 17) Thou shalt not covet thy baserunner's maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass; 18) Thou shalt not "kill" a runner by throwing at his head; 19) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy teammate; 20) Thou shalt offer thyself as a sacrifice to advance runners.