Bandits 9, Muskies 1

Well, wasn't that fun?

We are in a freefall, too inexperienced and simply unable to put it together. The other teams get better as the season progresses, but our growth chart seems to stay roughly flat. Each of our three losses has been to a team that entered the game with a worse record and came out with a better one. If these are the losing teams in the league, who needs the winners? And how did we manage to win that one game 7-6? If anyone can remember, let me know.

The thing is, we can't even get any shots on goal. We scuffle around like flailing monkeys, temporarily clearing the ball into the offensive zone, then watching it come right back. Scott, again with our only goal of the game, did it on a totally lucky shot from center ice that the goalie waved at weakly. But you know what? You know that giant mesh tent over there? At least he sent a ball vaguely in the direction of it!

We did this, what, three times? I don't know whether it's great to be Sean, because he gets a lot of save opportunities and racks up a nice percentage (for broomball), or whether it sucks to be Sean, because the experience is basically like being stoned by a gang of construction workers on meth. (This reminds me of the story of the the girl goalie from Cloquet who did nothing but get pelted all night, racking up a goddess-like .954 save percentage and losing 0-1 all the time, but always kept a good attitude.) I do know one thing: We pretty much don't deserve him.

Ah, but Dave's injured. But could Dave have single-handedly turned 5-1 and 10-1 losses into wins or at least ties? Now if anyone could do that, it's him, but I'm not sure our record would be any different if he were healthy right now.

So anyway, with Jenny out with the flu, we still didn't get to have a girl sub, so we were on defense for the whole game once again. I switched places with Liz for a few minutes, and that seemed to help a little, until she got golfed in the face pretty severely, making her especially attractive to Angelina Jolie fans for the next few days. When Liz got back on the ice, she came damn close to a goal of her own at one point.

Then the part that I feel pretty bad about in my recovering-Catholic way. I somehow fell prostrate against the boards, fighting for the ball against a Bandita. I finally cleared it after four hacks, and tried to get up. But she was standing in between my legs, so I half-consciously, half-clumsily took her down while getting up. I think there's a line between rough and dirty. Down 8-1 and pretty roughed up myself, I was trying to make something, anything happen, so I chose not to tiptoe around her. She didn't like that, so she whacked me in the shins, twice, drawing a penalty. What do you think, was I wrong? Go ahead and criticize me at will.

We've got one more game in the regular season, and it will be our greatest challenge yet: A team that is 0-5 as of last night. A real meeting of the minds. Let's have some fun, try to win a game and end the regular season on a note. Perhaps even a high note.

And thanks for playing with the Muskellunge. It's been worth it for me; hopefully also for you.