Lake Calhoun Freezing Muskellunge

Muskies Broomball 2007: Get to know your position!

2007-01-17T10:30:00.000-06:00

At long last, broomball season has arrived! To all our new recruits, welcome to the exciting world of LCFM broomball. I'm really excited for this season, and it was nice to see a big turnout to our first game, a 4-0 shutout victory no less! Hopefully last season's skeleton crew games are a thing of the past.

Some of our teammates are new to broomball, and bring a lot of enthusiasm and athleticism. What they don't have yet is an understanding of how the game is played, what the positions are meant to do, and where they're supposed to be at any given time. Thankfully, the basics are easy to learn. This overview (formatted as an obnoxiously long blog post) should help.

DEFENSE

Your primary job as a defensive player is to contest and block shots from the opposing offense. Do what you gotta do...get in the way, sweep the ball away from them (to the side, preferably), call ‘em names...just don’t make it easy. You can win your goalie’s heart just by keeping the riffraff out of his way so he can see the ball and keeping shots on goal to a minimum. He’s easy to please.

Keep an eye on the opposing forwards. They’d steal from your grandma if you gave ‘em a chance...wouldn’t bother them a bit, either. Don’t let them behind you for a second, or else they may get a one on one shot, and that’s not going to be easy on the poor goalie. That goes for forwards in front of the net, too...they’re not allowed there except under your close personal supervision. Put a stick on their stick and lock em’ up...they hate that.

When we have the ball, don’t be getting any ideas about charging the opposing net...leave that to your forwards. You just keep an eye on the play and the “cherrypickers” (forwards sneaking behind you). If you end up with the ball, try passing to your open forwards. Forwards not open? Crank it up and shoot towards the goal! The forwards will try and snag the rebounds.

The yellow area is generally where you should be when playing defense. You will typically be personally responsible for either the right or left side. Don’t be afraid to help each other out in a pinch, but don’t get bunched up for too long...that’s how things break down.

OFFENSIVE WINGS

Your primary job as a winger is to cover your side of the rink, keep the ball moving through passing and stickhandling, and gets some shots on goal. You also get to run down all those balls that end up in the corner of the rink, crowd the front of the net when necessary, and generally make a nuisance of yourself to the opposing defenders. It can get a little rough, and you end up running a lot, but it’s one of the most fun positions on the ice.

When in the opposing end, the defenders will be all over you. The key to keeping this situation manageable is to keep things spread out and use your teammates. Keep the ball moving, and the defenders will chase it like a prize winning frisbee dog. Remember, there’s three forwards and only two defenders...the numbers favor you if you work together. If you go it alone, it’s one against two, and the odds become a lot less favorable.

If you don’t have the ball, try and sneak behind the defenders and watch for a pass. If you have a defender in your face, look to pass or shoot it towards the goal. Part of your job as an offensive player is to watch the play and adjust to what’s happening. Good positioning and awareness will create open shots and goals.

When you’re in the corner digging the ball out, get ready to pass. Don’t forget the boards...they’ll help you every time. If you don’t have anything open in front, try shooting the ball along the boards to the other corner, then get in front of the net.

Your defensive responsibility is to keep the opposing defenders and wings from getting too involved in the play. You can pitch in to help your defenders, but try not to get too deep in the zone...when we get the ball back, the wings need to be available to push the ball back down to the opposing end, and it’s best to come in numbers.

Stick to the yellow area if at all possible. If your wingmate ends up on your side of the rink, make sure someone covers their spot; usually the center does this, but you’re next on the depth chart.

CENTER

The center is the all-purpose scoring and defending crazy person. Anything not covered explicitly by a wing or a defender gets covered by the center. The center also pitches in when a position player leaves their normal position for any reason by covering their position. Plus, they get to take faceoffs every once in a while, which is fun.

On offense, the center is a sort of all-purpose wing and playmaker. As it is on the wing, the key is to keep things spread out and to work to get open for passes and shots. They primarily cover the center of the ice in front of the net (an area called ‘the slot’), distributing passes and taking shots. When wings are in trouble, the center helps out by lending an extra stick or an easy exit pass. If a wing crosses into the slot, the center backs up the wing’s normal position and keeps the ball in play. The center is also the player most likely to get a breakaway one-on-one opportunity when coverage breaks down.

On defense, the center covers the opposing center and anyone else that wanders into the top of the slot (the bottom is for the defenders). When the opportunity presents itself, the center passes the recovered ball to the wings to start the play the other way.

The center also gets tired from all the running around. That's a lot of ice to cover!

So that's the basics. Have fun!

Freezing Muskies 4, Freezerburn 0

2007-01-14T16:05:00.000-06:00

That was fun. As long as I can find an injury insurance policy for Dave, we'll be in great shape.

Seriously though, we already have much higher potential than last year's team. Attendance was spectacular (13 Muskies, including 5 newones, and 1 absence). Our system of rapid substitutions went well,although be careful about taking yourself out of the middle of a play. Need more quick communication on the who, when and where of substituting.

One old weakness that resurfaced: Too many yellow shirts chasing after the ball at the same time, hence not enough spreading out forman-to-man coverage. Not enough in-your-face coverage of their best shooters. Elite teams will eat that for lunch.

PENALTY: Pat, our Sunday referee, is also the league commissioner, sohe's bound to be more strict. He smacked me with a two-minute penalty for "carelessness" when I whacked a girl in the shins while trying to make a shot. I was not happy with my control throughout the game, but atleast I was playing the ball, and the girl didn't care (and that's what her shin guards are for!). Freezerburn still failed to score on the power play. Nor did they score late when we went with a 3 boy/3 girl arrangement.

SEASON GOAL COUNT: Dave: 3, Jean: 1

SEAN'S SAVE PERCENTAGE: 100

ROOKIES OF THE WEEK: Jaime, Courtney

INSTANT DOUBLE-HEADER: For those who stuck around: Red Army 8, Freezing Muskieburn 2. Jean had another goal.

The Great Muskie Logo Contest 2006

2006-04-12T11:11:00.000-05:00

Thanks to everyone who worked hard and submitted ideas for the new Muskie logo. Now for the hard part: We have to choose just one.

The first thing you'll notice is that most of the submissions are very similar. Most designers went with a similar theme, taking one of my original suggestions. Perhaps I should have made this a committee job instead, but the last time we did this there were only two submissions.

Another option: girls and guys could go with different logos, since it may be necessary to do two separate screenprints anyway.

So please select your first choice and your second choice and send them to me in an email. You can also make constructive comments here.

Caveats: 1) Almost every designer said that their logo was a rough draft and changes can be made. 2) The final logo will probably be a black-on-red screenprint.

OPTION 1

OPTION 2

OPTION 3

OPTION 4

OPTION 5

OPTION 6

OPTION 7

OPTION 8

(Just kidding.)

Playoffs: Cooter's 11, Muskies 0

2006-02-14T09:37:00.000-06:00

I wouldn't bother feeling too bad about last night's playoff drubbing. Cooter's does that to everyone. They've been on-and-off Monday champs for at least four years. Their other scores this season: 4-0, 10-1, 7-0, 1-6 (an actual loss, to the Rink Rats), 7-1 and 5-1. And most of their opponents finished in the Top 7. I'm not sure why they find it interesting to play in such a mismatched league; they're probably Yankee fans too.

Granted, I was hoping that we would not give them their best performance of the season. My plans to stack up on defense didn't really work out. Cooter broke through our D-line all the time, and by then it was all over. Luck always went their way, while our [Paul's] best shots bounced off the posts. When you're good, you create your own luck. In the second half they only scored two or three times. Did we improve, or did they get bored?

I like CSC, the league we're in. I like the playing environment, the quirky rules, the smaller rinks and the soft boards. But despite 100 teams in seven divisions, they've combined the high "A" level with the low "B" level, creating an incredibly broad range of team quality.

We finished the regular season 13th out of 20, which a team of mostly rookies and sophomores should be proud of. But looking at all the blowout scores throughout the league, it seems like CSC should separate the A and B teams. Brian suggested we find a new league next year, but if that's not viable, maybe we should just try a different night, one with fewer Cooterite dynasties.

Random stats

- Good sign: Our record of 2-4-1 is identical to the Muskies' first kickball season.

- Dave remained the scoring leader with 4 goals, despite playing only twice. Brian, Scott, Jaki and I are tied for second with 3 each. Dave had 2.0 goals per game played; Brian was a distant second with 0.6.

- Not a stat, but getting the tar kicked out of us four times has made us better. If we had faced Cooter's a few weeks ago, it may have been worse than 11-0.

This isn't over. We leared tonight that a bonus game is in our future if we ask for it. Details to come.

Muskellunge 5, Meconium 0

2006-02-07T00:01:00.000-06:00

The other team started the game one man short, and only one of them had shoes. "Hey Holly," I said. "Keep stirring that barrel -- we don't want the fish to freeze."

For once, we got to be the dominant team, playing a mostly offensive game and almost giving goalie Sean the night off. It was nice to be able to use teamwork and strategy without getting bulldozed. Hopefully we can use what we learned next week. I thought it worked well to have a boy on defense and a girl forward.

We quickly went up 5-0, starting with Kevin's first two team goals. Then came the moment: The first-ever girl goal in Muskie history. Holly was the lucky girl, with a Scott-style long-distance luck shot from the center line. Kudos!

Not to be outdone, Scott went ahead and delivered the knockout punch, so to speak, slicing open a Meconium girl's face with a slightly high stick. Blood poured all over the ice, freezing in a morbid puddle for all to see. I was standing right there and at first I thought he slit her throat. The rest of their girls escorted her to the hospital for stitches, and the game was effectively over. Best of luck to her.

Side note: Now how do you feel about getting a helmet and facemask? That's what I thought. Go to Play It Again this weekend; you might find something serviceable in the used bin. The only reason I haven't gotten a mask is that my cranium is huge and I can't find anything used, so I'll have to buy something new for $100. In the meantime, I'm tempting fate. Think about it.

With the game aborted, Jaki, Holly and the ref joined the other team, and we played a surprisingly competitive and robust 20-minute scrimmage that ended 2-2. That included a Jaki goal for the other team, so maybe it was like 3-1 Muskies.

Ever a gentleman, Dave's brother Paul held back from doing much real damage, preferring to give the rest of us the glamorous work, but still showing off such snazzy moves as his "hand-pass to yourself" and his magical "keep away" ball control.

GOALS (first half)

Kevin: 2
Jaki: 1
Holly: 1
Paul: 1

Second half goals that didn't count:

Simon: 1
Scott: 1
Jaki: 1 (for the other team)

We finish the regular season with a 2-3-1 record, and this win catapults us to 13th place in a field of 20 -- not half-bad for a rookie team! My best guess is that this means we play the 4th-place team -- the storied Bunny's Muni's (4-0-2) -- for the first round of the playoffs next week. Stay tuned for confirmation.

Bandits 9, Muskies 1

2006-01-31T00:18:00.000-06:00

Well, wasn't that fun?

We are in a freefall, too inexperienced and simply unable to put it together. The other teams get better as the season progresses, but our growth chart seems to stay roughly flat. Each of our three losses has been to a team that entered the game with a worse record and came out with a better one. If these are the losing teams in the league, who needs the winners? And how did we manage to win that one game 7-6? If anyone can remember, let me know.

The thing is, we can't even get any shots on goal. We scuffle around like flailing monkeys, temporarily clearing the ball into the offensive zone, then watching it come right back. Scott, again with our only goal of the game, did it on a totally lucky shot from center ice that the goalie waved at weakly. But you know what? You know that giant mesh tent over there? At least he sent a ball vaguely in the direction of it!

We did this, what, three times? I don't know whether it's great to be Sean, because he gets a lot of save opportunities and racks up a nice percentage (for broomball), or whether it sucks to be Sean, because the experience is basically like being stoned by a gang of construction workers on meth. (This reminds me of the story of the the girl goalie from Cloquet who did nothing but get pelted all night, racking up a goddess-like .954 save percentage and losing 0-1 all the time, but always kept a good attitude.) I do know one thing: We pretty much don't deserve him.

Ah, but Dave's injured. But could Dave have single-handedly turned 5-1 and 10-1 losses into wins or at least ties? Now if anyone could do that, it's him, but I'm not sure our record would be any different if he were healthy right now.

So anyway, with Jenny out with the flu, we still didn't get to have a girl sub, so we were on defense for the whole game once again. I switched places with Liz for a few minutes, and that seemed to help a little, until she got golfed in the face pretty severely, making her especially attractive to Angelina Jolie fans for the next few days. When Liz got back on the ice, she came damn close to a goal of her own at one point.

Then the part that I feel pretty bad about in my recovering-Catholic way. I somehow fell prostrate against the boards, fighting for the ball against a Bandita. I finally cleared it after four hacks, and tried to get up. But she was standing in between my legs, so I half-consciously, half-clumsily took her down while getting up. I think there's a line between rough and dirty. Down 8-1 and pretty roughed up myself, I was trying to make something, anything happen, so I chose not to tiptoe around her. She didn't like that, so she whacked me in the shins, twice, drawing a penalty. What do you think, was I wrong? Go ahead and criticize me at will.

We've got one more game in the regular season, and it will be our greatest challenge yet: A team that is 0-5 as of last night. A real meeting of the minds. Let's have some fun, try to win a game and end the regular season on a note. Perhaps even a high note.

And thanks for playing with the Muskellunge. It's been worth it for me; hopefully also for you.

Winter schedule (updated)

2006-01-24T13:33:00.000-06:00

Our season schedule has been updated, with the postponed Jan. 2 game moved to Feb. 6. All games are on Mondays at the Icebox.

Dec. 19: Muskies 4, Sofa King 4
Jan. 9: Rink Rats 9, Muskies 2
Jan. 16: Muskies 7, Sweepers 6
Jan. 23: Newmanators 5, Muskies 1
Jan. 30: 9:40 p.m. vs. Bandits (1-3)
Feb. 6: 6 p.m. vs. meconium all-stars (0-4)
Feb. 13: First round of playoffs, TBA. (Brian gone.)
Feb. 20: Final all-night tournament, if we win on Feb. 13.

Notes:

- Here I go again: Our two remaining regular-season opponents have a combined record of 1-7. What does that tell us? Nothing. But at least we'll have a fighting Muskie chance.

- If we win the next two, we can get decent seeding for the first round on Feb. 13, which is set up as a 16-team tournament. Right now we are No. 15 (out of 20) but we have a chance to get up to No. 8 or 9.

- If we get to Feb. 20, I'll consider that a bonus. But Brian will be teaching Mexican schoolchildren about broomball on Feb. 13, so we'll have to figure out what to do then.

Newmanators 5, Muskellunge 1

2006-01-23T21:26:00.000-06:00

Ouch. Consider us Newmanated. Nothing really worked tonight. It is clear that we Muskies really have yet to find ourselves as a team without Dave. This performance made our 7-6 win last week look like a lot of dumb luck by comparison. This probably serves as some kind of lesson about going into a game overconfidently.

We started off telling each other that we wanted to improve on defense and limit the other guys' shots. But that doesn't explain how we lost 5-1 to a team that was 3-8 over the last 13 months. It doesn't explain how we have consistently given up an incredibly high average of 5.5 goals per game despite very good goaltending. It doesn't explain how three of our four opponents have had their best offensive games of the season against us. And it doesn't explain how we only managed one score of our own -- a season low.

Back to the drawing board...

Play of the game: Scott scored our sole goal by practically sliding into the crease. It was beautiful. We couldn't get any shots off in the conventional manner.

Dave of the Week: Eli was incredibly fast out there in his broomball debut. Somebody get this boy some D-Gels and hospitalization coverage, stat!

Muskies 7, Sweepers 6

2006-01-17T00:00:00.000-06:00

With a minute to go, Brian flipped the ball over the red defender's head at center ice and toward me, all alone in the offensive zone. I reached up and snatched destiny out of mid-air, set it on the ice and fired away. And the Muskies had our first-ever broomball win.

This one was a true team effort, and it looks like we might be on track to eventually figuring out how to play this broom game. We met our match in the Sweepers (1-2) and we just barely came ahead.

As the ghost of Dave watched from the Sample Room, we improved our passing game, our defense and our shooting. Early on we allowed too many situations where the goalie was completely unprotected, but Sean handled it well. Liz and Jenny were tenacious D, winning many battles, but we all have to figure out how to cover the defensive zone more.

It was 3-3 at the half, courtesy of my shot from center ice that snuck in under everyone's legs to tie it. In the second half we quickly went down 5-3, but then four different Muskies scored, including Scott with his first goal ever.

Play of the game: As a Sweeper charged the net, Brian came from behind with a baseball slide to take out the ball.

Low point: The Sweepers center made it 4-3 in the first five seconds of the second half, mowing down the entire team in the process. It looked like air hockey.

Key player: Goaltending was the difference, as Sean took countless shots. He smothered or deflected most of them (one save came right off his mask). Meanwhile, we didn't have quite as many shots, but we made them count.

Rookie of the week: Kevin D., wearing Dave's stuff, sure looked like a seasoned player, even though he said he hadn't played hockey since childhood. Welcome aboard, Kevin.

Goal 1: Brian
Goal 2: Jaki
Goal 3: Simon
Goal 4: Scott
Goal 5: Brian
Goal 6: Jaki
Goal 7: Simon

Season goal totals
Dave: 4
Brian: 3
Simon: 3
Jaki: 2
Scott: 1

Panic

2006-01-15T13:31:00.000-06:00

As almost everyone already knows, our star player Dave broke his tibia while playing on another of his teams on Saturday. Broke it clear in half. Minneapolis recreational broomball has lost one of its most dynamic players for the season. We all wish him a speedy recovery (six weeks, we're told).

He apparently did it while attempting his signature trick move which I have been so enamored by: that instantaneous drop to his knees to execute a horizontal power swing. Wow. Guess I won't try that anymore, although I did pull it off in practice once.

On the bright side, this just forces an issue that exists with or without Dave: We need to learn how to play better as a team.

More importantly, we need some new warm bodies. I would like two more permanent boys and at least two more part-time girls. The first ones to show up, play, and commit to the rest of the season will be in.

BOYS: Dave is loaning his shoes and gear to Eli A., a hockey player, who will try to be there Monday. Other options Dave suggested are Kevin D. and Dave's brother. Meanwhile, Jaki will ask his other team if any guys want to play.

GIRLS: Liz is out next week and we require a fill-in. Rumors persist that Jaime may try on Liz's gear. Steph from Bomb Squad is reportedly interested, but won't be here next week or Jan. 30.

So let's retool, play a game, have fun, and see where we need to go from here.

Rink Rats 9, Muskies 2

2006-01-10T11:19:00.000-06:00

Oh. On the bright side...

As a new team, we kind of needed the chance to learn about our weaknesses, in full-on bloody, graphic detail. And that would not have been possible, if the league had not suddenly, inexplicably switched our scheduled opponent only a day or two earlier. We were originally going to play a team that loses more often than not; instead we got the Rink Rats, who played in and lost the Monday championship last year. Did I mention our starting goalie was out of town?

The Rink Rats ran circles around us: They passed, they got to the ball first, they cut off our shots, they got all the breaks. They spun us around, we all fell down, and their forward girl poked ball after ball into the net. On particularly slick ice, I felt like I couldn't do anything right. Fortunately Dave punched a couple goals in in the first half so it wasn't a perfect blowout. He made many more shots.

In the second half, it got worse: Jenny was drilled in her tender, unprotected belly, and had to leave the ice. Since the outcome was not in doubt, the ref let us play 5 guys/1 girl after that, but it didn't matter. Another highlight: Liz was left guarding the goal near the end, and made her first save -- off her face.

By the way, the team we were originally scheduled to play lost 8-0 on the other rink to another elite team. So there could have been two competitive games, but the league changed it to two blowouts.

Goals: Dave (2)

So, uh, what do we need to do better?

Postponed

2006-01-06T11:15:00.000-06:00

What? A little water on the playing surface doesn't seem to bother these South African broomball girls:

Maybe they will tour Mandela's prison and one of them will become America's Next Girl Muskie.

The Jan. 2 game presumably moves to Feb. 6. I'll update the schedule when I know.

Muskies 4, Sofa King 4

2005-12-20T11:25:00.000-06:00

A tie! Not to get overconfident or anything, but it feels like a win, if only because it was the Muskies' first broomball game ever, and because we battled back from a 4-1 deficit. Brian started off the scoring with an early goal, but they came back with four in a row. At the half it was 3-1 or 2-1, I think. Then Dave finally broke through with two of his own, and in the final two minutes, yours truly lost his broomball virginity -- on the tail end of a beautifully choreographed three-shot assault (I think my shot came off of a rebound from Scott's attempt). We held on to keep it tied.

Sofa King was a decent team with a very good goalie (Dave sez), and we took about 25 minutes to start gelling as a team. But our comeback was probably due to our one advantage: We had two male substitutes, and they had none. As they tired, we dominated the second half. Let that be a strategy lesson: Go full bore when you're on the ice, and when you feel tired, come in. With six guys on the team, each male position player should be on the ice about 60% of the time.

Goal 1: Brian (Jenny assist)
Goal 2: Dave
Goal 3: Dave
Goal 4: Simon (Scott assist)

Sean: 5 saves, 4 GA

What were your impressions of the first game?

Fall schedule

2004-08-29T20:31:00.000-05:00

Here's the remainder of our fall schedule in the Pac-Man Divison. All games are on Tuesdays at Fort Snelling field #4.

Aug. 24: Muskies 14, Mighty Milfoil 10
Aug. 31: 7 p.m. vs. Grass Kickers (7-9)
Sept. 7: no game
Sept. 14: 9 p.m. vs. Fire Escape (0-1)
Sept. 21: 9 p.m. vs. Blue Balls (6-11)
Sept. 28: 7 p.m. vs. Ctrl/Alt/Del (2-6)
Oct. 5: playoffs, tba
Oct. 12: playoffs, tba
Oct. 19: rain date
Oct. 26: rain date

As you can see, we seem to have been placed in a division with teams that have a recent history of losing a lot. We have a lifetime record of 3-4-1. But the good news is, we're now on a three-game winning streak, we just had our highest-scoring game ever, and we've obviously improved. So will we be contenders this fall? Our next game might go a long way toward finding out.

Welcome to Muskie-blog

2004-08-29T20:30:00.000-05:00

What do you think of the blog? Since I write extensive team emails during the kickball season, as you know, I thought it would be interesting to just put it on the web in the handy blog format.

This site would be a good place for photos, video, discussion, whatever. I'd like to post profiles of every player along with a photo. But I'm no photographer, so bring your digital camera to the game if you want to help get us decent team photos, which we still lack.

If you're one of our opponents and you've stumbled onto this site, please don't take our trash talk too seriously. If you do, we might have to password-protect the site, and that would be excessive.

Game 2 preview

2004-08-29T20:29:00.000-05:00

Our next game is at 7 p.m. on Tuesday 8/31 at Fort Snelling field #4. Please arrive by 6:45 and bring your $21 if you haven't paid yet. My credit card bill with $360 in kickball charges is due.

Also, we need to provide two umpires for the 8 p.m. game, so think about if you want to get your ump obligations over with for the season.

There is no game next Tuesday because of Labor Day week.

Our next opponent is the veteran Grass Kickers. They've apparently been around for years, but I can't offer much insight into them because they've been pretty Jeckyl & Hyde. In the spring of 2003, they went 7-2 and became the "Minnesota League Champions." Then, in the fall of 2003, they went 0-7. And in the spring of 2004, they apparently didn't play.

So, the question is: Which Grass Kickers will show up on Tuesday?

a) the state champions;
b) the winless wonders; or
c) the team that never showed up at all?

I don't know, but if we maintain our offensive focus from last week and stay smart on defense, it should be a good game.

Flying Muskellunge 14, Mighty Milfoil 10

2004-08-26T20:27:00.000-05:00

A new rivalry is born.

If you spent any time at Lake Calhoun (our "home field") in the summer of 2003, you were struck by the infestation of ugly, bizarre Eurasian milfoil all over the lake's surface. The invasive species dominated the lake, depriving other lake plants of enough light to grow, and choking off the oxygen supply for fish in Calhoun -- which really does include a sizable muskellunge population.

In the late summer of 2004, the Muskies exacted our revenge.

There's little to say about our instantaneous offensive explosion in the opening innings of Tuesday's season opener versus the Mighty Milfoil, except to say that we executed brilliantly. We followed the Kickball Commandments. We kicked smartly and hustled down the baselines. We took extra bases and made the most of almost every opportunity.

We scored 2 runs in the first inning, 4 in the second, one in the fifth and 5 in the sixth. We led, at various points, by scores of 2-0, 6-0, 7-1, 7-3, 12-4 and 14-4. Several of us had some incredible baserunning adventures -- Geoff and rookies Scott and Patrik come to mind. Geoff even laid out the catcher in a play at the plate. (Now, was that necessary?)

By my count, we had 27 hits (for a .563 average), and didn't make any baserunning blunders resulting in outs.

Defensively, we kept the Milfoil down long enough. Whenever the Eurasians got a threat going (like first and second with no outs), they repeatedly did the same thing: kicked the ball to the hole between pitcher and third base, setting up easy Geoff-to-Sarah forceouts.

We got them out at third more than any other way; in fact, I believe Sarah made all three putouts in one inning. The Milfoil were employing the common kickball strategy of bunting to left for almost everything. It can be effective, but it only goes so far -- and it may be why that experienced team is now 4-13.

Eventually, the strategy started getting to us. I wish that we could have ended the game at 14-4 to prove that we have turned the corner defensively, but then we gave up 6 runs in the final frame -- a sequence that gave me nightmarish visions of dashing a 10-run lead. Pitcher Geoff was getting understandably tired from all the bunts, while we took lots of crazy fielding chances just because we could. I should have brought in Scotty to relieve Geoff, and we'll have to be more careful next week.

But it barely tarnished what was by far our strongest offensive game yet. I can't wait to get out there again.

Kickball Ten Commandments

2004-08-25T20:06:00.000-05:00

A reading from the email of Simon Peter to the Muskies:

Dearest Muskovites, thanks to the recent fusion of extreme sports, the Olympics and the Old Testament, I have received the following Ten Commandments of Kickball via divine inspiration. Let my people score!

These are the basic laws from the kickball gods that we need to follow in order to win. Print this out, tack it to the wall by your computer, and recite it daily. Yes this will be on the test, and yes it will count toward our final record.

KICKBALL TEN COMMANDMENTS

I. Thou shalt stretch and/or warm up.

II. Thou shalt always run hard to first base, even if you think it is a foul or an easy out.

III. Honour thy first-base coach and thy third-base coach.

IV. Thou shalt always look for an opportunity to advance an extra base.

V. Thou shalt not fail to "tag up" on a caught ball with zero or one out before advancing to the next base.

VI. Thou shalt know what is and what isn't a forceout.

VII. Thou shalt try to make the easiest out first, unless the game is on the line.

VIII. If you field a ball in the outfield, for the love of G-d, get it back to the infield quickly if there are baserunners. (Teammates should get into relay positions.)

IX. Thou shalt not throw at a runner unless 2 of these 3 criteria are met: a) it is a sure thing; b) it is a last resort; and/or c) there are no other baserunners. (Teammates should back up your throw.)

X. Thou shalt not foul off the tee.

Now, if I return from Mount Sinai and find you worshipping false kickball strategies, I will smash these tablets over the pitching rubber.

P.S. Secondary commandments (not cardinal rules but still important):
11) Thou shalt not have strange captains before me; 12) Thou shalt not take the umpire's name in vain; 13) Thou shalt not commit unadulterated errors; 14) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's fly ball, i.e. "call it in the air;" 15) Remember the Game day and keep it holy; 16) Thou shalt not steal bases; 17) Thou shalt not covet thy baserunner's maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass; 18) Thou shalt not "kill" a runner by throwing at his head; 19) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy teammate; 20) Thou shalt offer thyself as a sacrifice to advance runners.